Coming Out of the Darkness . . . .

April has been such a tough month, but I've learned a lot of things about myself, that I now need to figure out what to do with.  And I've re-discovered things  that I have lost somewhere along the way.  When I think about the last six years, I have to congratulate myself for still being here, as low a bar as that may be, and then just turn my face toward the horizon and start thinking about the future.

1)  There is no such thing as too much music in life, and I have gone back to filling the time with music in the air, while I'm cooking, driving, working, cleaning, whatever.  Back in the day when I often didn't even have a phone in the house, let alone a cell phone, I'd spin vinyl until there would be a knock at the door, and Shaun, Betsy, or Dave would pop in, actually it was usually Shanna (with a sack of groceries for my empty pantry).  I may not have had bread, but I had the new Grace Slick album, which was my spiritual bread.  The music helps me today as much as it did then.  And sometimes I think I had it more together back then, with no money, that ridiculous Gran Torino (I can't believe any of you rode with me in that thing!), and a lot of anxiety about what the future would hold.

2) When I am not communicating verbally, I hunger to communicate in writing.  Which is why I'm gradually showing up on FaceBook, texts, etc.  At night, when I can't sleep, if I try to capture a thought, or piece of a dream that I think would make a good story or poem, if I start trying to write it out (and yes, I see the words on the screen as I think them inside my head), I find I begin to relax and let it all go.  Writing is not just something I'd like to get around to someday in my free time.  Writing will be the key to my survival, and it is crucial that I find time for it.

Well, that's just the tip of the iceberg, so turn your ship around now if this is boring or TMI, because this is where I'm headed.  

I'm spending the rest of today (and probably tomorrow) working on putting all of Julia's performances (in one iteration or another) on DVD discs.  The LOOOONG, COMPLETE ones for Julia to have personally (or to make Uncles and Aunts sit through and watch with her when you visit next), and some shorter ones in the works for me, and friends, and family.  She is mortally afraid that she's not prepared for College Musical Theatre, but when I look back on the last two years worth of video on my hard drive, she's been super active.  However, in addition to the Denton children's theatre production of Alice in Wonderland, AND the Spring Spotlight on Disney, she's auditioned for and is in the final running for a student directed (and student written) play.  She is up for the part of the crazy, psycho mother.  My guess is she nailed the audition and will end up in rehearsals for three productions at once.

Did that child have a chance in Hell of escaping from a life in the theatre?

Well enough public introspection, I'll sign off.

Many thanks to my wonderful friends for not abandoning me along the journey.  

I love you all,

 - Q